The Flanders and Alcott Report On Sexual Response (1971)
aka The Sex Machine
aka Let’s Play Doctor
Genre: Comedy | Sci-Fi
Country: USA | Director: Eric Jeffrey Haims
Language: English | Subtitles: none
Aspect ratio: 1.37:1 | Length: 76mn
Dvdrip Xvid Avi – 608×448 – 849mb

Hey! Want to see a bizarre blend of Sci-Fi, S&M and drooling psychedelic hardcore madness? (I didn’t think so.) But The Sex Machine is breathtaking in its weirdness. It reaches new levels of fucked-upness.

Take a gander at this plot. “The Meadows Foundation” is a research laboratory run by dedicated scientist Dr. Flanders and his shapely assistant Dr. Phyllis Alcott (CHERI ROSTAND), an Ivory Snow blonde. The place was named after their leader, Dr. Meadows, “an underground practicing abortionist.”

The two doctors, dressed in lab coats and clutching clipboards, conduct experiments on “surrogates” – people whose libidos are damaged. Mainly, they hook up battery cables to naked, spread-eagled women.

Dr. Flanders’ greatest creation is a scary gadget called The Sex Machine. It looks like a jukebox with blinking lights, wires, buttons and vacuum cleaner hoses glued to it. The Sex Machine can “photograph the interior of the vagina” and “can heal frigidity”. Wait, there’s , more. Jutting out of the middle of the gizmo is a long spinning dildo. Women are strapped down and impaled by the device which burrows into their love canals.

Popping up every now and then during the film is a female narrator who says weird things like, “According to one estimate, 18 thousand females in the United States are born without a vagina.”

Trouble comes to paradise when Dr. Alcott’s ex-roommate Jessica Waters (DEBRA CHRISTIAN), volunteers as a surrogate. In college, Jessica would get high and attack Phyllis with a vibrator. “Jessica would masturbate directly over my head, laughing hysterically.”

Little do they know that Jessica is a snarling dyke known as “Big Daddy”. She has a zest for inflicting pain on women. (A flashback shows her in action and gives new meaning to the term “pussy-whipped”.)

Just when you think it can’t get any stranger, it does. Jessica has intense multiple orgasms on The Sex Machine. She becomes addicted to it. They expel her from the clinic: “It was obvious she was insane.” Dr. Alcott goes over to Jessica’s house to try and reason with her. Bad move. There’s a wild biker orgy in progress. Phyllis comes face to face with Jessica’s alter ego Big Daddy, who calls her “twat face.” Phyllis tastes the pain of the whip then gets gang-banged by the bikers.

Big Daddy sneaks into the laboratory and sets it on fire, strapping herself to The Sex Machine. “If I can’t have it, nobody will!” The machine short circuits, electrocuting her. Comments Dr. Flanders, “She seduced herself to death”.


The Flanders and Alcott Report On Sexual Response (1971)